jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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