And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
