we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
