This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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