This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
