if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
