how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize