Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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