I heard we made out
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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