he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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