You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
A bitchslap is in order.
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