but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
