One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
