She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
