Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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