Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You did what with his pubic hair?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
