Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
