come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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