he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
