just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
