I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize