Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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