so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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