THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
