i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
