We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
