Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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