have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So much rum. So many feels.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
