I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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