You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
