Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
