Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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