so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
