I think my vagina is haunted
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
