would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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