do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ugly people sure do ruin things
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
