So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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