I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize