HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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