I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
