Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
