Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize