i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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