i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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