I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
