I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
