I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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