Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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