i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
