Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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