TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
