Do vagina's smell?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
