I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
