Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
