How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
