I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
