ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
did you just send me my own nude
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
