thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
