You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
