I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
