I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we're so committed to being not committed
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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