I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
